Coffee and Revelations on a Cold November Morning
by kaz456
Summary: An unlikely match who don't want to be with each other, not now. Don't pity me...you're the one that's changed.


**Disclaimer**: Not mine.

**A/N: **This takes place during #54. Take older, post-war, slightly more cynical Animorphs and place them together in an awkward setting with plenty of stilted conversation. You get this. Despite strangeness and the fact that it doesn't resound within me, it is posted for your reading pleasure.

I'll be honest: I didn't expect him to come. The whole idea was more than a little odd, when you thought about it. In fact, it was downright bizarre.

But somehow, it made sense. When I considered all of it – all that had happened, especially to him—it made sense that I would be the logical choice. After all, who else would he talk to? Marco, who was hardly finding time to work in between his lavish Hollywood parties? Or Jake, who had turned into guilt personified? I wasn't just the logical choice, I was the only choice. Which hardly made me feel any better.

The café was small and almost empty. My waitress kept giving me those strange looks that I had become accustomed to, those I-think-I-know-you-from-somewhere looks. I smiled at her as she approached my table, but I didn't offer any explanation. In the aftermath of the war, I had become very fond of anonymity.

"What would you like to drink?" She asked fake-perkily, pulling out her notepad. From my angle, I could see various scribblings on it, ranging from the expected _Café Latte, small _to the less anticipated _I luv John._ She adjusted her beige nametag that read KATIE and waited for me to speak.

Should I order for him? What did birds drink? "I'll just have two coffees, please. Decaf."

She nodded, tossed me another curious look, and walked away.

I tapped my fingers on the table and waited. Would he even show? He should. After all, he was the one who had arranged it. I still didn't know why, but I was eager to find out.

I heard a bell ring, an indication of the door being opened, and I glanced up. Yes, that was unmistakably him – there was no forgetting that messy mop of dishwater-blonde hair. I looked back down at the table, deciding to pretend that I hadn't seen him come in. He quietly sat in the chair across from me, and I waited for him to speak.

"Cassie," He finally said, and he sounded almost expectant.

Feigning surprise, I looked up. Yes, there he was. In all his seemingly-young, awkward, glory, there was Tobias sitting across from me.

"Tobias." I had intended to seem happier to see him, but surprise and delight combined to form a monotonous tone.

It was as if he had read my mind, and his voice was just as bland as mine had been when he said, "Don't sound so excited to see me again."

I tried to smile and failed. "I am excited. Well, not excited so much as…surprised," I admitted. I leaned back in my chair. "It's good to see you again, Tobias."

"I wish I could say the same," he stated plainly. The words threw me for a second, and I waited for further explanation. "You're too much of a reminder of the past," was all he offered.

"Well, sometimes we need the past," I reminded him gently. "Sometimes the past can help us make sense of the present." I tried to smile encouragingly at him.

He laughed wryly. "Is that why you've made so many attempts to talk to Jake?" he asked.

I bit my lip. That had been an unnecessarily low blow; I was only trying to help him. And furthermore, how did Tobias even know about what went on between me and Jake? What business of his was it?

There was an awkward silence at the table, and I felt the need to do some sort of obligatory catch-up with him so that we could become re-acquainted, at the least.

"How have things been with you, Tobias?"

He looked at me, point-blank. His gaze, of course, mirrored that of a bird's, and I found it unnerving. It was as if he was tearing down any wall of pretense that I might have built, and catapulting me straight into things that I didn't want to get into. Maybe agreeing to meet with him had been a bad idea.

"They've been just great, Cassie." His voice was coated in sarcasm. "Things in the meadow are amazing. It's almost too exciting for words."

_You were the one who chose to live there_, I thought, annoyed. I quickly pushed the thoughts out of my mind. Of course Tobias was still a little bitter; didn't he have a right to be? He'd lost the only person that had ever loved him. I could tolerate his snappishness.

"We've all been doing well," I said brightly. "Marco's show is starting to get some high ratings, and Jake has become a professor, believe it or not." My laugh sounded hollow even to my own ears. "I do some work with the government, dealing especially with the Hork-Bajir and things like that. I like it a lot."

Before Tobias could respond, KATIE had come back and was placing two cups in front of us. "Your coffee," She said helpfully. She did a double-take when she saw Tobias, and the look from before came back on her face as she squinted at him. He stared back at her unflinchingly, and finally she blushed and turned away. She cast one look back at our table before hurrying out of sight.

He shrugged.

I emptied four packets of sugar and some creamer into my cup before taking a sip.

"I like my coffee sweet," I explained.

"You would."

I looked back up at Tobias and studied him. He was so cold, so unresponsive, and yet at the same time it felt as if he were expecting me to do or say something. What could I have to say to him? We hadn't talked in a long time. What did we have in common now?

"You've done well for yourself," He spoke up, but nothing about his tone was complimentary in the least. "It's good how you've managed to leave the past behind you and move on."

I nodded, happy at least that now we were talking, even if he didn't mean what he said. "Well, that's all you can do. Keep moving."

Tobias shifted in his seat, looking uncomfortable. Whether it was from the chair or from the simple fact that he was in human morph, I didn't know. Most probably the latter.

The silence was so tense. I was regretting doing this. Why had I agreed to it? The Animorphs were a thing of the past. The war was over. We had all settled down, each gone our separate ways. I wanted to find a way to tell Tobias that, tell him that this entire meeting was needless.

Instead, I pointed to the coffee cup sitting in front of him, untouched. "That's for you. The coffee, I mean. It's yours."

Tobias turned his unblinking gaze back on me. "I'm a bird, Cassie," he said matter-of-factly. "I kill rats and rabbits. I don't drink coffee."

"There's a first time for everything," I told him. _Smile, Cassie, smile._

"Spitting out the clichés today, huh?" Tobias said harshly. "Do they make you feel better?"

_That's it._ I set my coffee mug down with a soft _thud._ "Tobias, what is wrong with you? This isn't you. This…" I gestured, a half-hearted attempt to refer to the way he had been acting. "This isn't _you._"

He nodded. "I've changed," he said simply. He suddenly, in complete contradiction of his earlier words, took a sip of his coffee. No sugar, no nothing. "I've changed," he repeated. "Apparently, so have you."

What was there to say to that? I took another sip of my drink and slowly shook my head.

"I know you don't agree," he continued. "But you have. You can't expect to have moved on from everything that happened and still stayed as that naïve girl. You're not the old Cassie anymore."

"I know that," I told him, coldness creeping into my voice. I took a deep breath and calmed myself. _Remember, Tobias is just bitter. He hasn't recovered. _ "I know that. Of course I'm not exactly the same. Who is? But I'm still me. I'm still trying to be me." I took another sip of my coffee.

"Yeah. That's why you still hang out with Marco and Jake all the time."

_Ouch._

"Why did you call me here, Tobias?" I asked tiredly. "I didn't ask you any questions about how you called. I didn't refuse when you told me I would be your only contact. Did you come here to just tell me what a bad person I really am?"

"Why did you come here, Cassie?" He retorted. "Because you feel pity for me, for poor, jaded, Tobias who retreated from the world and has no handle on life?" He shook his head, a human gesture that still looked odd on him. "Forget it. Just drink your coffee, forget we ever had this, go on with your life. Keep moving." He got up abruptly and stalked away.

"Guess I'm paying the bill, then," I muttered to myself. _Well, I tried._ Tobias had gotten mad at me for no reason. I shook my head again. No matter what he said, I couldn't help but feel pity for him. I was holding on; the war had truly changed him.

I sighed and reached into my purse to check my planner. It was only then, as my eyes scanned the date, that everything suddenly was clear.

"Oh, _God_," I whispered to myself. It all made sense now. My sweet coffee didn't taste good anymore. Tobias was right.

November 4th. Rachel's birthday.

(Don't pity me, Cassie. You're the one that's changed.) Tobias' sorrowful voice in my head only mirrored my own thoughts.


End file.
